Transfigured
by Rowja70
Summary: Dylan's thoughts on his newfound heritage.


Author's Notes:

Can't claim them (the characters and situations belonging to Andromeda) though I wish I could. I trust I would have ended it a little better (at least that is my fantasy) than the ummm…unsatisfactory conclusion we were forced to accept. It is not that I am not glad that Dylan found his way home, because I am. What I have a problem with is that I found myself feeling that there was something missing, something more that should have been said or done. Though what it was I haven't a clue, I just hate to be left wanting.

This story and its concepts are something that I have been thinking about since Dylan's Vedran heritage was revealed. I was wondering how he felt about the fact that it had been kept from him by his parents since birth so I decided to explore it a little. I hope I have done it justice.

Also I decided that his mother deserved, if not equal time then certainly she deserved an equally "shocking" heritage to pass on to her son. After all being just a heavy-worlder just doesn't cut it in my book. So please be pleased at my little surprise.

Transfigured

Evolved or transfigured, of the two terms I think I prefer transfigured. The former term implies something base, whereas the latter implies elevation, perhaps on a spiritual level which would possibly relegate the physical changes to something incidental. To me as I was growing up Vedrans were personages to respect deeply, to obey, and to revere. Thus it is nearly impossible to associate anything as lowly as a strictly physical transformation with these so-called higher beings. In the end though they are just flesh and blood, capable of making mistakes and failing as many of those that have been labeled inferior. When I found that fact out, when I really took it to heart, I was devastated. Now though I am grateful. I feel a relief that the impossible to reach higher standards of conduct and being are not as impossible to reach anymore, at least not for me.

I am Vedran, or at least partially Vedran. What do I think of that? Unfortunately events have transpired to prevent me from pondering this question until now. I feel that I have been lied to, betrayed and cheated by some of the people I have most trusted in my life. That shouldn't be a new feeling, you need look no further than Gaheris Rhade for proof of that fact. Still this betrayal hurts worse. My parents, especially my father should have told me. After all it was his heritage, and mine. How can I forgive the omission? I suppose that would depend on the reasons for the information being kept from me. Was it for my protection? Would it have been too much of a burden for me to bear as I was growing up? If so, I suppose I should be grateful for my ignorance at the time. Sometimes I wish that I would have remained ignorant, but then I guess that would not have been a viable option, as I would not have been able to continue to grow as a person. After all as the saying goes 'you need to know where you have been to know where you are going.'

My one question is though, why was it Flavin, a virtual stranger, and not someone close to me that was chosen to reveal this oh so important aspect of my heritage to me? If not my father, then one of my relatives should have related that information to me. Were they forbidden to do so? If so, by whom? Could the Paradine have made the decision? Why? Flavin would probably know that answer, after all he was the one that ultimately told me about who my father truly was. He was, is, Paradine. Will he also someday tell me why I was kept in the dark so long? I also wonder what other information he holds that pertains to me and that he feels I should know at some future date. How often will he decide to pop up into my life at the most inconvenient times? Will he cause as much chaos as he did the last time? Probably so, he is anything but subtle, but then again so am I. Isn't that special, I have just discovered another trait the both of us share. So does that mean that we are more closely related than the fact that both of us are Paradine implies? Wouldn't it just be grand if he were some kind of uncle or other unfathomable relation in the Vedran family structure? Not really, as I would hate to think that any relation of mine would be more annoying than I am. After all my pride would take a considerable beating if my annoyance skills were considered second rate.

The fact that Doyle now knows of my status as a transfigured Vedran and a Paradine can be considered an annoyance in the extreme. I have no wish for any of the others, especially Harper, to learn of my new found standing. Why Harper specifically, well let's just say that I dread the use of his talent to exploit even the smallest detail to his advantage. In the past I have been able to curb his enthusiasm, but now I doubt I will be very effective in that department. Why? I don't know, except that maybe my confusion over my own state of affairs may hinder my efforts. My one consolation is that Doyle has given me her word not to tell Harper what she has learned. Unfortunately, I still feel uneasy; as there are no guaranties that Harper, her creator, will find a way to circumnavigate her control and break through any blocks she might have around the information and find out anyway. My only hope, I guess, is that the information remains anonymous in that Harper never knows it is there to be found.

As for the man that used the term transfigured in the first place, "Trance's guardian" in the Vedran tunnels, he is in too much awe of me at the present time to spill what he knows. How long that awe will last is anyone's guess, thus I can not count on it too long or too much. As a result I must find a way to break through his hero worship and extract a promise from him as one man to another. I hope his worldview is not shattered to greatly when he realizes how fallible I am. I also hope that his inevitable disappointment in me doesn't cause him to do anything rash. I fear it would be disastrous in more ways than one. Paranoid, aren't I? You would be too if you had to endure even half of the things I have lately.

Speaking of paranoid, I wonder if my mother's heritage was all that I have been told. After all if I had been kept in the dark about my father, who's to say that the same could not have been true about my mother. After all what was it that caused them to come together in the first place? I thought she loved him and vice versa, but what if there was another reason. What if she, he or both of them were told, ordered, to marry and produce a child for certain purposes. If so, what purposes would those have been? I wonder if I have fulfilled them, fallen short of them, or have yet to fulfill them. Arrogant, aren't I? Or is it cynical? What more can I be expected to accomplish? What more do they want from me? And by the way, who are they? Are "they" just the Paradine, another group or groups, or both?

Oh man! Now I have been reduced to whining. What will the mysterious they think of me now? You know, at this point I shouldn't really care, but I do unfortunately. The situation I find myself in is as intolerable as any that I have encountered since waking up in this time. The actions of an unknown number of beings have caused me to doubt in the foundation of my childhood existence, the indisputable fact of two people's love for one another and the child they created between them, me. Unfortunately I can't doubt that, I can't doubt their love, because if I did it would shatter me. Still it is a nagging concern of mine that there was something more than the ordinary when it comes to my parents marrying and having a child.

Of course there was something more than the ordinary in the way I came to be, having a hybrid child isn't a common thing by anyone's standards. I wonder how they managed to produce a viable child in the first place. The coming together of two species physiology's must have been a nightmare to contend with, but then again my father looked so human. Could that deceptive appearance have extended to his internal functions and makeup as well? If so, how far? More importantly, how much did he know about himself? Did he know he was Vedran? Or did he consider himself human? Obviously he wasn't considered human by others or he along with my mother would never have been buried in that Vedran burial chamber. What about my mother's knowledge, how far did it extend? Did she know all? Or was she kept in the dark like I was?

Well now, the light has been turned on, so to speak, and I have more questions than ever about myself. Of course that isn't saying much as I have always thought I knew who I was and all my questions answered about myself. How wrong I was! How dissatisfied I have become with what I know now. After all what is the likelihood of any of my new questions about my family and myself ever being answered? Not much, I would guess, as the man with all the answers seems to have disappeared for a very long while. What is more I don't recall him ever promising to come back to give me more of the answers that I now have a need to possess. Of course, he never promised anything the last time he left either. No doubt he will return when the answers so important now will have very little meaning.

I being cynical again, aren't I? Of course I am, and you would be too after the day I have had. After all it isn't every day that you prove the point: 'be careful of the answers you seek as you may get them, though not in the way you had hoped.' An old saying is it not? If not, it should be! Well anyway I bet you are wondering what I am rambling on about now. Not sure I want to tell you. The disappointment I feel in my immediate ancestors is not something I am sure I want recorded for posterity. Then again this is a day that I got an answer to a question I thought unanswerable. What was my mother's role in the seeming conspiracy of my birth? And, oh boy! Is it a doozy!

Now where do I begin? I suppose an overall, though not all inclusive, statement could be a place to start. If not, then tough, as I am not in the mood to be accommodating. Why? That is an easy question to answer, which is a rarity in my life these days. I feel betrayed again and by those that never should have given me reason to feel that emotion. I have discovered through another of our misadventures that I am a product of careful selective breeding perpetrated on my mother's side of the family. What an honor! It isn't every child that finds out that he came about as a result of perhaps the only non-Nietzschean breeding program in history perpetrated by the high-matriarchs of many prides, prides that under other circumstances are the bitterest of enemies. Unbelievable you say, I would agree but for the fact that it is true, unfortunately. The purpose for my carefully constructed pedigree is that I was to be a counter to the legend of the genetic reincarnation of the progenitor of the Nietzschean people if one was needed. Oh joy! Yet another weighty, unwanted and unneeded expectation laid on my shoulders. The good news is that I have either dodged it or unknowingly fulfilled it, at least partially as the false claimant in the form of Tyr Anasazi has been exposed and dealt with. The bad news is that when the real genetic reincarnation if Drago Museveni makes his appearance I will have no idea what I will be expected to do. Well here's hoping it is nothing, but then again I am never allowed such a break so why should this be any different.

The End 

Thank you for lasting this far. I would appreciate a few reviews, but please be gentle as this is my first venture into writing Andromeda fan fiction and I had little idea where it would lead me.

Again Thanks for reading. Rowja70.


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